1.We're guaranteed to make your day better, like a human version of pizza. Had a crappy day at work? Get in a fight with your best friend? You know that if you call us up to hang out, we'll get you laughing.
2. We hate being called "funny guys." On a personal note, I hate writing this and even self-identifying as being funny. If people introduce us as funny or ask us to tell a joke on the spot, we'll retreat into our (probably) metaphorical shells.
3. Yes, we will make jokes during serious talks. Bear with us and don't get mad. Sometimes we can't resist making a so-bad-it's-really-bad-and-almost-good pun or throwing out an actually good one-liner. These moments might come during a serious talk about where our relationship is headed. Brace yourself.
4. Just because we can crack some jokes doesn't mean we secretly want to break into comedy. Most of us are content with just making people laugh. Don't keep pushing us to take an improv class unless we bring it up. And if we do, get ready for long, weird hours and lots of questions about whether or not a particular joke is funny as we quadruple-guess ourselves.
5. THERE'S PAIN BEHIND THESE EYES. All right, let's dial it down a bit, but just because we're making jokes doesn't mean we're constantly happy-go-lucky. If anything, it's a defense mechanism. Even if we're laughing, just check in with us sometimes.
6. We are your secret weapon at office dinner parties. We'll charm the hell out of anyone you need us to. Your boss? You coworkers? That weird guy you can't quite figure out? We're all best friends now. We are like locksmiths but with people.